Wednesday, March 7, 2012

It's been awhile!

So for the longest time, I was just blocked, didn't have much to say. Be careful of what you pray for. Oh yeah, I have plenty of inspiration to draw from now, all hard earned. Today may be a little light, but I'll do my best to catch you up in the following posts. Read on:

The Pin Cushion

One of my earliest childhood memories is spending time with my Mom in her sewing room. Amongst bolts of fabric and boxes of trim, one of the curiosities was her pin cushion. Round and blood red it had a small little man sitting on top. He wore yellow pajamas and a blue straw hat. It never made much sense to me then or now, but I thought about it alot over the past three weeks while in the hospital for a blood clot that had traveled to my lungs, pretty much wiping me out. No hospital stay is pleasant and as the three weeks rolled on it became almost unbearable. They give you a sedative to help you sleep, but then wake you up ever couple of hours to take vitals. Chest xrays all times of the night, and the worst, the constant giving of blood. Your veins become thick and unresponsive quickly, leading them to find blood in smaller and smaller vessels. As this happens the pain becomes more and more intense. I finally developed a two stick rule. You can't get blood in two sticks, send in the next person who can. Finally, I just started meditating on the pin cushion. I would be like the man on top of the pin cushion. Never complain about the pain, just be an observer to the fact that I was being stuck yet again. This seemed to do more for my attitude than yelling at nurses or complaining or feeling sorry for myself. Just take a step back, knowing that things are difficult, but I am strong, and have God only knows how many people praying on my behalf for my recovery. I am home now, with Ken and the dogs. It's still tough going and the recovery will take some time, but at least, for now I'm not a pin cushion.