Support

Every Tuesday night, I get in my truck and drive some 20 miles up Pacific Coast Highway to attend my support group. Unlike other trips of the same distance that I may make, I never think about wasting gas, or the time involved getting there. This trip is a highlight of my week. The admission to the group was quite high. Over two hundred thousand in medical bills (thank God I'm insured), the removal of part of my tongue, scars that may never look "normal" and a speech impediment. To spend time with this amazing group I would say that the price is fair. You may be thinking that I'm nuts, but here me out.

We can all use some support. Frankly, I'm surprised that support groups aren't the norm rather than for special cases. Think back to grade school and how much more pleasant it might have been to spend a couple hours a week with other kids who were having the same or similar experiences to yours. Just imagine coming  to understand that the bullies were insecure as a child and maybe being able to show some compassion for them instead of fear? All of the beautiful girls that no matter what seem to think their fat learning that they are perfect just the way they are? Redheads standing up and claiming their own special kind of beauty. All of the kids with learning disabilities coming to see themselves as smart and capable, not unteachable. The list goes on and on. I bet that I could have created a special group for just about every five years of my life. And if we did this where would we be as a society?

In some ways churches used to be a kind of a support. During the 50's and 60's, you were looked down upon if you didn't go to church. Then as time wears on going to church fell out of vogue. I will freely admit there was a period of my life that I spent quite isolated from Christians. In fact if I would have been in a support group at that time, it would have been a God please protect me from your followers group. I'm still leery of some sects. Now my group would be more of a God please keep the baptists and their hateful teachings away from me and my family. While visiting my Dad I went to church with him and even though it was my first experience in a Presbyterian Church, I quite enjoyed it. His minister, Dr. Charles Somervill, was fun and up beat. Nothing of what I equate ministers in the south to be (Still have some prejudices). But the thing that really impressed me was the Prayer of Confession that starts off "Our God, we confess to knowing more about how you would have us be than actually being that way." In short it is a confession to being human and fallible. That is something that I can live with. We are all just human after all. I have vowed to check out our local Presbyterian Church here. Usually I am at my most comfortable in a Catholic Church, even if I am not nor will ever be Catholic. In fact I still tend more towards the metaphysical, Earnest  Holmes type of teachings, but all paths to lead to God.

But to get back to my current support group, there is just something about surviving a life threatening illness and being able to weekly tale about the tale. When our families and friends grow weary of us having cancer or health problems related to the treatment of cancer, we find ourselves with a most welcome outlet. We celebrate to good and help each other through the bad. We all learn something new each week, but most of all, speaking for myself, I have increased the number of people in my life that I can truly say that I love. Here I find myself surrounded by wisdom that came a too high of price for any one individual but it is shared freely. We also share laughter, tears, compassion, empathy, humanity and occasionally some really amazing cake! (Thanks "C" and thanks to Laura for telling me about the Cancer Support Community).