Betrayal of the Flesh

In every cancer patients healing comes a time when you feel betrayed by your body. That time, for me, came a couple of days ago. I was pushing thru the radiation and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. With just 7 more sessions to go I feel like my neck has been french fried. Scabs are starting to form and my skin although it looks like an old boot feels as fragile as antique silk. Additionally my tongue is swollen more than normal. In doing self diagnosis the problem seem obvious. I need more water. I need to hydrate more. Right now it's easier said than done. Did I fail to bring up the blisters in the mouth? OK. I need more fluids to help this. I also decided that I should do more research and see what I could find that might help my skin.

I discovered a product called RADX. It was created by a woman who works for a skin care company doing tanning products for her brother when he was undergoing some 36 radiation treatments. She took a product made for jellyfish sings and added some other ingredients to it and viola! RADX. Apparently it works so well that it was adopted by a major cancer center in Houston. I've ordered some (overnight) and all I can say is we'll see. Another frustration for cancer patients is the amount of research we have to do. You would think by now that there would be the "go to" in house for all of this. Instead you get it in pieces. I was informed by a doctor last week that my plan while it doesn't pay for acupuncture, does have a listing of acupuncturists that will work on a discount basis. (I love my acupuncturist and don't need it now, but thanks for telling me when I have two weeks to go!) Aside from feeling angry, you do start to feel empowered at some point. Had I not of found the website on honey treatment, the sores in my mouth would have been worse. I love telling doctors about it and giving them the link in hope that they might help someone in the future. My partner has read more than his fair share of books on foods and natural products to help with cancer as well. Our home feel like somewhat of a cottage industry looking up and finding alternative treatments for cancer or to help the side effects of cancer treatment.

But as long as I am being honest with myself the biggest reminder here is that I am not my body. My body is doing what a body does. There is no betrayal. I am reminded that radiation is strong because it has to be. So in thinking of the body, mind and spirit connection, my body is "out" on this round so the strength has to come from my mind (what can I do?) and spirit (praying and meditating). There are 7 more treatments to go. Of course I'll make it thru. Then I'll deal with healing my body from this aggressive treatment. It won't always be a walk in the park, but it is necessary. Once again, I am glad that I am surrounded by my wonderful family and friends and my very special team of survivors. Knowing that you are not alone in this makes it easier at every level.