I ask myself that a lot lately. Because I am interested in alternative healing I wonder if I have selected the right path. Should I have had the surgery? Should I really be doing radiation and chemotherapy? The truth is that it doesn't matter at this point. Life runs forwards at all times no matter what we want. So spending time trying to think about what I have done is a huge waste of time except in one aspect: What advice would I give if someone in the same situation came to me? Would I tell them to listen to their doctor or go off on their own and try a cure that feels right for them? I had to think about this because I wasn't sure. Here is what I have come up with. I would advise that all cancer patients listen to their doctor first and foremost. Secondly get a second opinion. Even if it comes back the same it will give you another doctor to select from. Liking your doctor is KEY TO YOUR RECOVERY!
I didn't get a second opinion. I don't really feel that I needed it.(and thanks to google still wouldn't feel that I do. I have one of the best surgeons on the west coast and probably in the US). I had a brilliant surgeon on my side. I will never forget the day I met Doctor Oh. He was sloppy in his scrubs when he came into the room and seemed to be out of breath. He even sprayed hand sanitizer on himself. He flopped down and in a no nonsense way informed me what I had and what he would be doing. Of course what he would be doing was removing half of my tongue. Thank god Ken was with me there that day and was in full on "Rock Mode". I was dazed as we left his office. I had to go have a CT Scan and I still remember Ken holding me while I cried. The second visit went much better. Dr Oh was still disheveled, but this time I was armed with questions. He answered all of them and for the first time I saw that he wanted me to beat this. He wanted me to beat the odds. He didn't see me as a patient but as a human. I guess what I am saying is find a doctor who expects you to live!
As far as chemo and radiation go, I would say this. Think about the type of cancer that you have. Think about your own mental state. Are you a happy person? Do you believe that you can beat this without help. Do you see yourself living to 100? Then with the help of constant monitoring skip it but do the nutritional, emotional and spiritual work that you will need to do daily to survive. The conclusion that I finally came to was that I wanted an end date. I wanted to say that on April 27th, 2011 I am cancer free! I also chose this path for two other reasons. 1. I have ADD. I tend to flit from thing to thing. I didn't want to work on this diet then that diet, then add this on only to end up eating Mexican food all of the time. I know myself well enough to see that that is something I would do. To go the holistic route it takes a steadfastness that I do not posses. The other reason is that I do not believe that I have the support that it takes to go holistic. I was shocked and felt that Ken had turned on me when he said that he felt that if I didn't do the chemo and radiation, that I had waisted my time having the surgery to remove my tumor. The truth is that Ken is scared. He doesn't want to loose me. In fact he had done the opposite of turning on me. He protected me from myself (and who doesn't need that sometime?) The statistics and science say that radiation and chemo work better than alternative healing. Of course he is going to want me to go this route. I am also smart enough know the same thing. I thank god from my friend Coral. She is a true believer in holistics and nutrition and she had chemo and radiation. That really helped me make up my mind. It felt like one of my own had chosen this path and so should I. I would use nutrition, exercise and spirituality to heal myself and keep myself cancer free in the future. This is after all not just a cold that you drink fluids, get over it and go back to your unhealthy lifestyle until the next one hits. We cannot afford to think like that.
Yesterday I saw my brilliant surgeon Dr Oh, who was quite pleased at how I am doing. He took the time to explain that patients who have almost no side effects at this point go on to either 1) end up with several the last couple of weeks of treatment or 2)(very rare) don't have any. Right now I am voting that I only have the ones I have and leave it at that. As I have got to know him better I have to say how impressed at how open minded that he is. He is fascinated by my having acupuncture and is open to referring his patients who are interested. I even gave him a copy of Love, Medicine and Miracles which he plans on reading. He sees the face of cancer daily in his work. He knows statistics and yet when I asked him about the future he remained noting but positive. He explained what future check ups would look like, but stopped me when I asked about re-occurrence, as if that is simply not going to happen. I love his confidence. I say that because as I start to have side effects from the treatment, I have started to second guess everything. It is wonderful to be surrounded by friends, and family who are positive that I am already healed and the rest is just "what you have to go through". But to find out my doctor is on the same team? That is the greatest thing I could ask for.
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