This isn't a race

That was the advice from one of my best friends when she found out I wasn't taking pain killers. What she actually said was "This isn't a race, you don't need to impress anybody". I realized that she was right. I believe that almost all medicine is toxic and shouldn't be used long term. I hit me though that there is nothing on the market as toxic as the radiation treatments that I have been undergoing and taking something to ease the pain so I could make it thru the next few days or week so I can start my recovery is nothing to be ashamed of. So I asked for and received a prescription to vicodin. I opened the bottle before getting back on the shuttle to Long Beach and took two. By the time Ken picked me up I was still in pain but somehow the edge was off of it. I was able to go home and juice some vegetables for some shakes. Actually played with my poor dogs who must think that I've been mad at them and even walked several blocks to the mail box.

It seems that I had my head shoved up my butt! I have been so focused on being healthy that I have allowed myself to be in such pain that I can't sleep. Not good. And thinking about what my friend, Theresa, had said, I realized just how right she was. From day one I knew that I was going to survive. The thing is that somewhere my ego got involved and it became about surviving the "right way". Really? is there a right or wrong way to survive? Isn't the point to survive? I know several people who are survivors and don't eat the healthiest of diets. I know some that continue to drink. Heck, even Lance Armstrong is doing lite beer commercials (which, sorry, I still think is just plain wrong, but who the hell am I to judge) Where along this path did I become so invested in survival "my way"? It started off that I was planning on surviving and then bam now I had a way to do it. Funny thing is I don't know what that would be and if I really did, I think that I would have been smart enough to cut down on the side effects, if part of my survival plan was to not take an occasional pain killer (OK, I will say that my ultimate survival plan does not include me getting addicted to pain killers). So two more days of treatments left. I'm burnt, I can barley speak. So what! I am surviving. I am doing just what is necessary to make it thru each part of the process.

And speaking of process, the next wave begins this week. My acupuncturist is putting me on a radiation detox and working to clear the side effects. Once thru that, I have to start experimenting with diet to keep my PH level at a 7. How I'm going to achieve that I don't have a clue. All I can say is thank God almost all of my favorite foods are on the alkaline side. Where I am afraid of getting side tracked is my love of A. Mexican Food and B. My love of Southern Foods. I think my house is going to become a test kitchen for awhile. And then there is the matter of starting a sustainable exercise routine. Walking is clearly not enough so I am going to have to find something I like and can stick with. And most importantly achieve all of the above without alienating friends and family. No one is going to be coming over for Tofu surprise followed by a heartfelt documentary on meditation. I will say that I like tofu, but the night I just mentioned sounds like an evening in hell. I want our  house to be filled with laughter and love. With friends and family. So over the next 18 months we will be figuring out how to achieve optimum health that works with optimum love and fun. I like that idea!