The News

One definition of the  news is that it is supposed to be a media representation of current and relevant information. This rarely holds true when your watching the news, however. It seems the news in this day and age is designed to entertain and terrify. Beautiful anchors telling us with a smile on their face that a bomb has just gone off in church in downtown. (scary) and without missing a beat follow that up with a story of a dog caught in a pipe. (happy ending). This mixed bag seems designed to sell hand sanitizer (the constant running storey of germs) and gain ratings so then the news casters can brag about winning an Emmy. News papers aren't  much better in this age either. Filled with adds for lap bands and watches and not much information that I feel pertains to me unless I really want to dig for it.

It is no wonder that the Internet has become the place where most people get their news. Picking and choosing what is truly relevant to them and filtering out what we don't really need to know. Some even go as far as to skip this step and get the info that they need from social media sources. Who can blame them. Do I really need to see breaking news of yet another high speed chase? They pretty much all end the same and in the rare instant that it is worse, I don't really want to be a witness to that anyway. The only big story I have followed over the past couple of weeks has been of Egypt. It is amazing to me that as my drugs were wearing off that an entire country could take the first steps to becoming a democracy. And in terms of relevance, I have always wanted to visit Egypt, so I have a vested interest in them becoming a peaceful nation.

Back to social media, though, it is a modern day miracle. Where else in the space of a minute could I find out my friend Jeff and drank and entire pot of coffee, My cousin in Colorado is snowed in. My niece in Hawaii is going to the gym with my sister. Another friend is on a walk My friend, Andrea's son took his first steps today! And where was I during all of this you ask? I was "soiling" myself. In, of all places, a Joann's Fabric and Craft store. If you have ever had this experience, you know, it is upsetting and embarrassing. So much so that we never mention it. Well most of the polite segment of the population doesn't. Once locked in the safety of the bathroom I noticed the baby changing table in the stall and suddenly  felt better. I wouldn't be the only person who had made a mess in the store that day. OK, so I might be the only 48 year old to do it, but I have a similar excuse to all of the babies. I'm on a liquid diet! That and I'm still healing from surgery. You clean yourself up, make the decision if you are going to toss the underwear or not and move on. What else can you do? I even toyed with the idea of posting it on facebook. (I decided not to). Even more encouraging was the fact that Ken hadn't missed me and I wouldn't have to tell him what happened and cut our errand short. "Oh, there you are" he said while coming around a corner. "Are you ready?" "I am, I answered. We got our stuff and went on our way. It was if nothing had ever happened and no one would ever know. Well except the for my readers and anyone else online doing an advanced Google search for "soiling yourself". What a world we live in. I think I'll stay!